behind the wheel.

at school is funny. our driving teacher is my friends old phys ed teacher. he likes making weird noises. especially while making u-turns. he likes burping. he got into the car today and was really sweaty. it was kinda gross. but funny. he had the a/c on when i started driving, my hands were really cold. he makes me nervous. i dont know why. well, im assuming its because hes grading me on how well i drive. umm...i think its safe to say im not the worst driver. my friend drove though a "DO NOT ENTER" street. that was an interesting experience. anyway, i need work on parking. [not that you even care.] who the hell reads these?! all i ever do is ramble. if you read this, please let me know lol.

to the ocean. by the shore.

to the ocean. by the shore.
ill write her a letter.

on paper held together
with the stitches that keep
this hole in my chest from tearing
apart any further.

seal its envelope with each
and every tear thats fallen
down my cheek.

its stamp, the shape of a heart that
before, was very much together.

with my trembling hands, ill put it
in a bottle.

cork it up along with every single word
that just a week or so ago, meant the
world.

then toss it into that big ocean.
never to be seen again.

maybe then all of this pain thats been
suffocating me will sink to the ocean floor.

like that broken castle by the shore.

maybe i need you.

...the way that big moon needs that open sea.

oh man, being sixteen sucks sooo bad.

how can you act like nothing is going on?
like nothing's changed?

part of me is waiting. saving your place.

the other part of me is just giving up.

im so sick of screwing things up all the time.

i hate the fact that i still love you.
i hate the fact that you dont seem to care.

just dont apologize. apologies are pointless
when you dont really mean them...