giving up.

So today in class i needed a bit of advice as far as my relationship issues go.
Why?
....because im afraid of screwing up. Yes, im really into this girl. Yes, she's the
first thing i think of in the morning and is always on my mind before bed because
she makes me feel safe. Basically, she's all i could ever hope for. The problem is
apparently i'm just "wasting my time."

On friday, a friend of mine asked me if i had "asked her out" yet. I of course said no
because im not exactly the type of person to do that. To be brutally honest, im a coward.
Anyway so, he was like "oh dude. You're such a fuckin pussy. Just do it!" Yeah, that's easy for someone like him to say. Im terrified of everything. There's no way i would just be able to do that.

Then today this girl said, "she likes boys. You're wasting your time". That made me feel like the most horrible person on planet earth. Partly because i think that, even though that may be the case now, there's a really big possibility it will be in the near future. She's not gonna wait for forever. What the hell do i have to offer her? nothing. absolutely nothing.

....i wish this were way easier but unfortunately it's not. All i do know is that even though it's not exactly the easiest thing, it's definitely one thing that's worth the struggle. Sometimes though, i do feel like giving up. but i try to get past my hangups as best as possible. if only i did a better job at it. :/