schedules suck.

so my school schedule for Junior year is.....pretty lame. im bummed, because as of now i didn't get into the film class i wanted. :/ that was the one class i was actually excited about. the schedule isn't like final yet, i get my final one the day i start school, so hopefully it'll be better because i think something is screwed up, but idk. my plan is too talk to my counselor and complain like there's no tomorrow to see if i can get it. ..she's quite nice, im sure she'll find some way to get me in. :) if not, then this school year is going to be even more terrible. anyway, my schedule is as follows:

hour 1: AP English. ...hopefully this class is worthwhile.
hour 2: Phys Ed. ...is fun, but i think i have an asshole teacher.
hour 3: Spanish 3. ...is unbelievably easy.
hour 4: Lunch. ...sucks.
hour 5: Lunch? ...wtf?! i dont want two lunches! i want film class. D:
hour 6: Earth Science. ....fuck science. :/
hour 7: AP American History. ...ive got the best teacher :D
hour 8: Advanced Algebra. ...meh, i dont like math. :|


so....im not exactly happy with it, but whatevs. i guess i just have to deal with it as best i can.

modern girl.

so i'm not quite sure what it is about this song that just brings her to mind. i seriously have no idea, but whatever it is, it's just...idk. it's different. i mean...ahh...idk. great song. great band. great girl. :)


My baby loves me, I'm so happy
Happy makes me a modern girl
Took my money and bought a TV
TV brings me closer to the world

My whole life
Looked like a picture of a sunny day
My whole life
Was like a picture of a sunny day

My baby loves me, I'm so hungry
Hunger makes me a modern girl
Took my money and bought a donut
The hole's the size of this entire world

My whole life
Was like a picture of a sunny day
My whole life
Looked like a picture of a sunny day

My baby loves me, I'm so angry
Anger makes me a modern girl
Took my money, I couldn't buy nothin'
I'm sick of this brave new world

My whole life
Was like a picture of a sunny day
My whole life
Looked like a picture of a sunny day
My whole life
Was like a picture of a sunny day
My whole life
Was like a picture of a sunny day.

the perfect ending.

is there ever such thing as a perfect ending to a life?

has someone ever honestly accomplished every single
goal they set for themselves before death?

every time ive seen a life end, it has never seemed that way whatsoever.

tragedy.
despair.

two words that seem to be masked by one.

freedom.

one person's views forced upon someone else, even if it is something like freedom, is not right.

that being said, you cannot put a price on someone's life.

i dont believe the united states cares about it's citizens. the way i see it, the one thing this country cares about more than anything else is money.

i have this fear. if i am truly scared of one thing more than anything else, it is this:
losing my sister.

ive grown up in a military family.
and i dont want a single part of it.

i dont want to wake up one morning and go from this:to this: but is it worth it?

are the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people, soldiers and civilians alike, worth it?

does it truly do anyone any justice?

i suppose no one will ever really have an answer.

but we know who's to blame.

distance.

is it odd how you can be thousands of miles away from someone, yet feel like they're the most important thing that ever happened to you?

how one person can make you feel incredibly secure without even trying.

how everything that's going wrong seems to just go away with the mere sentence or two they send your way.

yet no matter how much you tell yourself not to hold on to the idea of them being around, because you know they aren't going to be, you can't help it.

sometimes letting go of that idea is the best thing you could ever do, but the act of doing so is terrifying.

no two people ever make you feel the same way.

and the thought of never experiencing that feeling again is a very scary thing.

a thought that is avoided many a time in my head.