know what you want and go for it.

this seems to be one of my biggest problems. i'm all over the place when it comes to this. I've changed my mind as to what i want to do for a living multiple times. i've gone through millions and millions and millions of emotions and i still do not know what i want to do with my life. i wish i wasn't afraid all the time, but i am. i'm terrified of truly becoming what i hate. i don't want to wake up one morning hating what i've become. there is one song that has always stuck with me since the day it was released. Millstone by Brand New. It's like Jesse Lacey knew exactly what i was going through. Like the moment he wrote the song, we were the only two people on planet earth and we just so happened to feel the same. Only, i feel like this every day. More and more every single day. i wake up every morning not sure of what's ahead of me. I don't want to wake up thirty-five, working a pointless job, aimlessly trying to get through life under the radar. In my opinion, it's a pathetic way to live life.

the verses that, to me, stand out from millstone:
"I used to be such a burning example,
I used to be so original.
I used to care, I was being cared for.
Made sure I showed it to those that I love.

I used to pray a God was listening.
I used to make my parents proud.
I was the glue that kept my friends together,
Now they don't talk and we don't go out."