photograph.

"I wish I was that someone who got phone calls

and postcards saying.
'wish you were here'.

I wish you were here.
autumn is the hardest season.
the leaves have all fallen
and they fell like they were falling in love with the ground.

I know we never meant to hurt each other.
now the sky clicks from black to blue
and dusk looks like a bruise.


I still love you like moons love the planets they circle around.
like children love recess bells.
I still hear the sound of you
and think of playgrounds
where outcasts who stutter
beneath braces and bruises and acne
are finally learning that their rich, handsome bullies
are never gonna grow up to be happy.

I think of happy when I think of you.
so wherever you are I hope you're happy
I really do.

I hope the stars are kissing your cheeks tonight
I hope you're smiling
like god is pulling at the corners of your mouth.
 

I'm still time zones away
from who I was the day before we met.
you were the first mile
where my heart broke a sweat
and I wish you were here..

but mostly, I wish you well,
I wish you my very very best."

::
excerpts from andrea gibson's photograph. 
i dont think i could have worded what i feel any better.
but that day will come. until then, all i have is this. i just
wish that  neither of us had to go through this. i mean, it's
one thing for me to go through it, but i really do hate making
her uncomfortable.. :/